Dear Cancer,

Dear Cancer,
I know you're feeling kind of low right now as you have lost some of your cellmates over the past week due to my Oncology friends and GOD!  Coming into this, you didn't expect a battle as you are undefeated vs. the Coleman family.  You visciously took my mother (Iris), brother (Wylie), sister (Jackie), Uncle (Howard), Nephew (Tyrone), and grandmother (Gertrude); so I understand your unwavering confidence.  In sports terms, you're 6-0.

Well, what you didn't know was I have been preparing for you my entire life.  Your reign over the Coleman family ends now!  You thought this was going to be a Mike Tyson fight from the 80's (a quick shot to the gut and down goes your opponent).  NOPE!  Ain't happening here!

Let me say this with clarity and conviction, Cancer Be Gone!  Your days of bullying the Coleman's are over.  You are not wanted here, thus you better enjoy the cozy confines of my prostate for a just a little while longer, as you will have to take up a new residence soon.  Get use to seeing my new friends, "Mr. Radiation and Mr. SEEDS," as they are there to kick your butt and provide you with an eviction notice.  GOD has claimed this victory over you!  We will celebrate your eviction with a new tattoo on my left tricep, some butter pecan ice cream, a fried crustwich (from CRUST), and a nice glass of some good old fashion Kentucky Bourbon (not necessarily in that order, well, what the heck, maybe in that order).  Hey Cancer, "see ya and wouldn't want to be ya."